remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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