saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
