Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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