I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
