# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
