I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
