Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
