i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
