her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The adults are the big ones right?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
