Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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