Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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