Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
