it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
