i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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