i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
