the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
