but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
