bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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