i love accidental penises.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
