Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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