Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
