is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
