Only a mothe r could love this liver
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
