yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
