erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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