She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
