One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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