did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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