He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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