Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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