My first STD was from a foam party
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you win again, gameday.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
