I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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