I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
