Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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