She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
no. you can't hotbox the world.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
