oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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