I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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