dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
