I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
