70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
