Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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