I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
