this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I just put wine in my tea
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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