he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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