I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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