actually, I'm a sock model
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
