you told grandpa to call you daddy
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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