How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
