Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
