He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
