I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
