So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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