I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
