Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I want is dick and wine.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
